Is this a good story?

this is what i have written, and my friends say i should be a writer.


since i know none of you tell me the honest truth.





to read start from the bottom of the page and read up.


http://www.xanga.com/b3fragile61

Is this a good story?
it sounds pretty good. u have good ideas. your writing should be a little more creative. like instead of saying. "My mom said sure" you should say, my mom who never lets me go anywhere actually said sure!" this is 2 describe the mom and catch the readers attention. just make the sentences creative and clear and you should be fine. i got bored of the story just starting it. but you are a great writer.you also keep using OK and SURE. get better words!!!
Reply:It is okay, but what you have to do is to expand on it more, and try and write it so that you keep the reader's interest.
Reply:It's OK
Reply:I am a writer too and, personally, I don't think it is an amazing story but it's good for a beginner. Still, it seems as if you have a passion for writing, keep it up and have fun with it!