I'm writing a book...mind giving your input?

It's just something I'm doing in my spare time, nothing big, but I would like to know if the prologe seems like a good opening for it. If you have the time, and don't mind, could you please go here http://www.xanga.com/The_Guardians_Book and tell me what you think of the prologe? Thx. Btw I'm 15 if you're wondering and know my English sux, so feel free to critisize all you want. I'd rather a hurtful truth than a lie abour your opion. Thanks.

I'm writing a book...mind giving your input?
Its really good! There are a couple mistakes and if you are looking for someone to edit it, I would be happy to.





Keep up the good work and I can see this book being published!
Reply:its ok you need to not repeat yourself try saying mortals instead of humans change up your wording and itll be better
Reply:That's good! I want to read more! It really pulls you in.
Reply:you write well to be 15 and i could see someone being interested in your book, but at the same time it did seem like you ramble on about legends(although thats what the book is about...sometimes you have to change up a few words and be more descriptive so you can keep the reader interested) ..but hey its a great intro but regardless of what anyone says on here, keep writing you'll only get better at it!!!








p.s. I want to go into borders next yr and see your book on the stands!! lol





GOOD LUCK
Reply:You are setting up a good basis for your story.
Reply:It looks pretty good...