Can you tell me if this story is any good?

It's my little sisters and she really wants to know if its any good.. it was a little to long to post here so we have a link..





http://www.xanga.com/xbarbeaux

Can you tell me if this story is any good?
It gives some experiences about a speedy love, a love that comes and leaves like a wind. I think young people should know about this, although it's not a very deep and well developed story. The story itself is neither attractive or entertaining, it's just an usual story, no more, no less... You can tell her sister that the story is realistic and educational ^_^
Reply:That certainly is a good start. The writer does have talent, but you might want to develop the characters so that the reader is drawn in more. Give Sarah color to her, show the reader what she looks like, weave a story of love and passion with Darren only to ripped apart by his true evil self. Don't rush the story stay with it and mold it like clay. This writer with more experience can write long meaningful prose if they chose. Good luck and keep writing and develop your talent to a new level!