Review my essay puleeeeze?

go to www.xanga.com/essaysaysay to read my essay:my trip to taiwan then tell me the strongest aspect of the writing, what i need to improve on, and your comments

Review my essay puleeeeze?
Several grammar errors---do not capitalize church unless you use the whole name (Norfolk Baptist Church)%26gt; In first sentence no comma after church and there should be a comma after Texas separating it from USA. Never use all caps to make a point. The last sentence of the first paragraph contains comma errors. Ditch the exclamation marks. This sentence needs to be punctuated this way....


"Then, we went to our hospitality’s apartment and went to sleep."


In this same paragraph, you have several comma errors. Make sure when using a comma to connect sentences joined by and that you have two sentences.


"This trip was very nice." Do something about this sentence--boring. Several more comma errors in this paragraph. Also, when you change speakers, you must make a new paragraph.


Your content was good----just work on punctuation.
Reply:It was very welll written, I would probably use different beginnings to sentences instead of One day, one that same day, etc. and change it up a little. Other than that it was very good.
Reply:No. Do your own homework and get the grade you deserve. This should not even be a category.
Reply:wow,very good. please read other comments.
Reply:best essay ever written by a human
Reply:it is very good.i only wish you said mother instead of mom since it is supposed to be an essay.on a 0-10 scale i would rate it at 8.


the strongest aspect is it isvery gripping,the language is smooth


and the descipions enjoyable.

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